had another self-discovering moment today. remember that movie, "funny games," which i absolutely hated? well, we talked about it in discussion today, and everyone else hated it as well, but it was the best discussion section we've ever had, maybe because everyone was so vehement in their opinions of the movie. but after reading about the film, i can totally appreciate what michael haneke, the director, was trying to do. i'm still horrified and upset by it, but that was his purpose. it wasn't a film made for entertainment. it was meant to portray the irrational reality of violence and question the conventions and expectations of classical/horror cinema, which it was completely successful in doing. i now understand why my prof showed the film to us.
anyway, in discussion, i found myself as one of the few people who defended the film and haneke's mindset in making it. when i realized that i was able to justify a work that i myself found repulsive, i once again realized how far i've come in terms of film appreciation. three years ago, i never thought i would be saying things like, "there was an ambiguity in the contradiction of self-reflexivity and realism," and complimenting an awfully violent austrian horror film.

sorry if you were bored by this entry, i just feel smart today.